Oy Vey Buddha

Enlightened Turtle, Oy Vey Buddha, and Peaceful Dove

A Fable

1.14.05

Once upon a time in a far away place called The Land of Calm Abiding, there stood a majestic mountain. She was the tallest of mountains in the area, so tall that the towns folks living at her base simply called her “The Mountain.” The Mountain had seen just about everything, as she had been around for quite a few years longer than anything else. For this reason, and because of her magnificent height, climbing her was regarded as The Ultimate Challenge. Rumor had it that whomever could manage to climb up to her peak, would obtain Absolute Wisdom and Glory. The Mountain was extremely proud of her height and unobtainability. No one had ever managed to climb up to her peak. One day a newcomer arrived in The Land of Calm Abiding. He had traveled far and long, over many years, to reach The Mountain. His name was Turtle.

Turtle soon became the center of attention in the small village of Calm Abiding. No one had ever seen a turtle before, nor any other creature which could carry it’s own home upon it’s back. However, there was something even more amazing about Turtle. Upon his shell he carried 17 frogs, perched one on top of the other.

The frogs were all extremely happy, singing songs and chants of praise all day, to Turtle, whom they called their “Enlightened Master.” In return, Turtle gave the frogs A Lift wherever he went, and told them some very interesting stories at the end of each day. Each evening, the frogs jumped down off of Turtle’s shell, and hopped about, gathering food, water, and flowers to offer to Their Master. After eating, drinking and telling stories, Turtle went inside his shell, to sleep. The frogs would then hop, dance, and sing until they were tired. Then, exhausted, they went to sleep nestled around Turtle, protecting him from any harm.

Finally the day arrived for Turtle to climb The Mountain. The towns people shook their heads at this foolish idea, but Turtle’s mind was made up. He said an optimistic goodbye to everyone, and started his trek up The Mountain, with all 17 frogs excitedly singing upon his back, one on top of the other.

For 10 long years Turtle continued to climb The Mountain, carrying his friends.Then one day, he stopped to think. “Hmmm,” he thought. “I will NEVER reach the top of The Mountain like this! I have too many frogs upon my back!” But since the frogs thought that Turtle was Enlightened, he felt he couldn’t let them down. He thought and thought and thought some more, and then he decided that his only recourse was to Change The Way He Walked! From now on, he would walk on his 2 hind legs.He told his disciples that he was “starting a new phase, a new experiment, which would be A Surprise Technique!”

As soon as Turtle, grunting and groaning, managed to stand on his 2 back legs, all the frogs tumbled down. Some rolled all the way back down The Mountain. Others rolled part way down. However 3 frogs managed to grab onto Turtle’s tail.

“Oh me oh my,” thought Turtle. “What have I done? Now I have lost most of my disciples, and now have only 3 left!”

Not only that, but Turtle soon realized that since he still was not alone, he would need to continue walking on his hind legs, which became increasingly more difficult with each step. His New Phase had begun. Turtle’s progress now slowed nearly to a stand still, as he needed to stop every 15 minutes, to rest. He would need to go into his shell and sleep for awhile, and would then return to his two-legged stance. The 3 remaining frogs did not mind walking on their own, since they now considered themselves to be “The Chosen.” One night Turtle had a dream. He dreamed he turned into A Man. The man seemed to be able to climb The Mountain very quickly and easily. When Turtle awoke from his dream, he said to himself, “Good Idea!” Turtle wished and wished and wished, with all his Turtle’s powers of mind. The frogs were worried about him, since he refused to come out of his shell. Yet, by the end of that day full of wishing, Turtle did, indeed, turn into A Man!

The 3 remaining frogs were horrified to suddenly see Their Master turn into a Human Being! In complete denial, they looked everywhere for Turtle. But all they found was an Empty Shell. Finally, after much scurrying about and sad croaking, the 3 frogs decided to make a Holy Temple out of Turtle’s shell, and live inside it for the rest of their days. They spent the rest of their lives praying for Turtle to return.

Meanwhile, The Man, who used to be Turtle, figured out that he must now be A Buddha, since he had Transformed. He climbed and climbed The Mountain, day after day, and year after year. At first he was very excited to be able to walk so quickly, with no one holding him back. However, it was a long, lonely climb, and he gradually became more and more sad, old, and tired. He had no one to tell stories to at the end of the day, no one to sing to him, and no one to help, either.

The only thing The Mountain ever heard The Buddha say was, “Oy vey!” It was a strange saying for an Enlightened Turtle-turned Buddha to say. The Mountain was used to her aloneness, and found The man Most Amusing. She called him “The Oy Vey Buddha,” and chuckled to herself, each time he spoke. The only thing that kept The Man going was the vey faintest sound of The Mountain laughing at him, and The Hope for Something Better, At The Top.

Eventually The Oy Vey Buddha’s hair and beard grew long and gray. He also needed a walking stick to help support his tired back and legs. His voice became more feeble, as well, although The Mountain's ears were very sharp, and she could still hear him mumbling, “Oy vey.”

One day, half way up The Mountain, The Oy Vey Buddha had a sudden realization. And this realization would forever change his life. He realized he had traveled far...farther than most...farther, perhaps, than anyone before. Yet, he could plainly see that there was No Way he could reach the peak of The Mountain. It simply was Too High.

Stopping to lean upon his walking stick, he closed his eyes. Disappointed tears rolled down his cheeks. He felt as if his whole life had been wasted. He had been alone, climbing The Mountain, for 20 years, and he was only half way up The Mountain.

The Oy Vey Buddha thought back to when he had been Turtle, trying to remember how he had Transformed. Finally, he remembered. He remembered that he had wished and wished and wished, with all of his Turtle powers of mind, all day long, and then his wish came true. “Ok...I can do that, “ thought the Oy Vey Buddha. He closed his eyes and started wishing. He wished and he wished and he wished. He wished all day long and then deep into the night. As morning broke, The Oy Vey Buddha was still A Man. “Oy Vey,” he said. “Maybe I should just rest. I am too tired to make wishes.” So he sat down to rest, for the first time in 30 years...10 years as Turtle, and 20 years as Man.

Sitting under a tree and closing his eyes, the Man felt something he had forgotten for well over 30 years. He felt happy. He felt contented . He felt At Peace. The morning sunshine warmed his skin. A cool breeze caressed his face and flirted with his hair. He heard the melodic songs of birds calling “Hello!" to him. Somewhere in the distance there was the sound of running water. Two butterfly lovers did a special dance before his eyes, and then fluttered away. And the Oy Vey Buddha fell into a soft slumber.

When the Man awoke, he realized he was no longer a Man, but had become a Snow White Dove.

“Good Idea!” he said. “Now I can fly to The Mountain Top.” On excited, grateful wings, Dove quickly flew to The Mountain Top.Looking down upon Mountain’s Peak, Dove realized that he No Longer Cared.

Just at that moment, The Mountain gave the loudest belly laugh In Existence.

Dove gently circled the Mountain’s Peak 3 times, and then changed his direction. He flew straight down The Mountain. Down, down, down The Mountain glided Dove, in utter silence and contentment. He noticed that his wings moved softly and effortlessly, showering golden glitters and tiny pink hearts, wherever he flew. And in his heart he felt A Singular Song: Peace.

And from that day forward, wherever Dove flew, he softly, peacefully showered his special golden glitter blessings and tiny pink hearts. Wherever he went, flowers bloomed, and there could be heard the sounds of laughter.

MORAL: After much effort, comes realization: relaxing, enjoying, all of existence becomes available to you; then one’s peace becomes boundless, enough to share with all.

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