Inner Light: Meeting the Master
9.2.05
So far in this web site, I notice I have avoided sharing anything of a very personal nature. Most of the works here are either intuitive poems or fictional short stories.
Since I met Osho back in 1974, I find that in certain circles I am considered to be something like a rare antique or a nearly extinct dinosaur. Many of Osho’s disciples never met him. I, on the other hand, had many experiences with him, a living enlightened master. Over the years I was blessed to have been, among other things, sitting in his daily discourses, working in his personal library in his home, helping as one of his mediums during the energy darshans, and actually living in his home for a period of time.
Recently two different publishers, and other groups, have requested I share some stories of what it was like being with Osho. So I began writing about some things for them. After that I got to thinking why not also share something here, in my own web site?
So anyway, here is one story, out of so many.
The moment I set foot in Pune, India, I could feel Osho’s presence. The closer I got to the commune, the stronger this energy became. So before I actually met Osho, I knew this was going to be something rare and unusual. It was an indescribable “something,” an overwhelmingly soft, yet also powerful, energy. I later heard him call this energy field around an enlightened master “a buddha field.”
When I went to my first darshan, which comprised a small group of visitors sitting with him on his back porch, I surprised myself by giving a huge belly laugh! Just seeing him sitting there, in person, was wondrous!
Osho also gave a chuckle, and then he said to my husband and me, “Come here. I have been waiting for you for a long time! I have your names already!”
We sat at his feet, and he placed a mala around our necks, giving us our new names. My new name was Ma Prem Anupama,which means "unique love." He asked me if it was easy to pronounce. I tried to say “Anupama” but I kept getting it a bit off. I said “Anu-PAM-a.” Then he corrected me, saying “A-NU-pama.” It took me three times to get it right. Finally he told me that “in three months you will be a completely different person.” After that, Osho always called me by the nickname of "Anupam."
Then a few days later I had my second darshan with Osho.
During our conversation Osho said, “Tomorrow morning I want you to do Dynamic Meditation. And when you come to the “Hoo Stage,” I want you to jump up and down very hard onto your heels. Do it with your total energy. And I want you to get angry.”
“OK,” I answered.
“Good, Anupam,” he said.
So the next morning I awoke nice and early, and went to do Dynamic Meditation. I did it with my total energy: I jumped down hard on my heels, and I felt angry. Next came the shout, “Freeze!”
I froze.
Then it happened. I felt nauseated. I thought I was going to throw up and have diarrhea, both at the same time. I felt scared. What would other people think? Then I remembered Osho. I stayed with it. I didn’t move.
With my eyes still closed, suddenly, out of the darkness appeared a tiny golden-white light. The light came closer and closer to me. It actually felt as if I were traveling through a dark tunnel, towards the light. I really couldn’t tell if the light was moving towards me, or if I was moving towards it. As it approached, it became brighter and brighter. The brightness became more than I could bear. It was blinding me. I opened my eyes. Yet, to my surprise, I couldn’t see anything. I was blind!
I was having my first encounter with The Inner Light.
Next thing I knew, I was waking up on the ground, lying in a small puddle of muddy water. I don’t remember falling, although it must have been during the last stage of the meditation, when everybody lies down on their backs. Everything was a blank at that point. But “something” had happened.
By the end of the meditation, I had regained my eyesight. However, for several days afterwards, I was unable to function. All I can remember is lying on the hotel bed, laughing, going in and out of consciousness. This went on for nearly a week. I honestly cannot remember very much from that period of time. I think I may have attended some of Osho’s discourses. I also remember my husband and friends hanging out in the hotel room, talking. When I would regain consciousness, they would laugh and I was given food. I remember everything seemed funny to me. I spoke hardly at all. Most of the time I was in some altered state, as if asleep. By the end of that week, I had to relearn how to walk around on my own and adjust to the outside world. I felt like I had been reborn. I was again, a child. I felt completely open and vulnerable. Yet, with help, I adjusted.
I never mentioned this experience to Osho. I figured the meditation experience was simply the beginning of a lifelong journey into the mysteries of Existence. I did, however, feel immense gratitude for my master, his energy, and his love. He was always there, to give me love and support, and to answer my questions.
Often times, during later visits, he would send Vivek (his caretaker) or someone else, to ‘see if I was all right.” Somehow he always knew when I needed him.
When my first three weeks in Pune came to an end, I reluctantly returned home to California. Osho had invited us to return soon, and frankly, I couldn’t wait to do so. I returned to my teaching job in a nearby community college. I truly did feel already like a different person, even though the three months were not yet completed. I felt as though some of Osho’s energy had entered into me. I felt like he was emanating from inside me.
My first day back teaching, I walked into the teaching lab. The first thing I heard anyone say to me was, “What happened to you?!! You’re different!”
I simply smiled, and said, “I took Sannyas!”
So that was how I met the master.
copyright Anupama Deanne Kallman
music playing is "Deeper" - live, by Miten
An elaboration of this story has been published by VIHA Connection: The World of Osho, in a special edition on esoterics, Nov/Dec 2005, volume XVIII SIX. The article is entitled "Encountering the Inner Light" by Ma Prem Anupama. Cost per copy is $8 and includes mailing.
What is Osho Dynamic Meditation?
Other Osho Meditations: The Self-Sufficient Meditator
anupama@ahastories.com
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